Friday, September 23, 2011

To Level 3 Seattle's Best

Level 3 Seattle's Best,

Way too simple for my liking.  I was able to pick up fruity and robust flavors, but you did not have near enough discretion.  You took my breath away in neutral manner.  Absolutely  nothing about you inspired me or lifted my spirits.  I appreciated your wine flavored aroma, but upon tasting you, I was left feeling astringent.  Despite your label, I did not find you balanced or smooth.  Perhaps when we meet again I shall have different thoughts about us.



P.S.  Try pairing up with Coldstone Creamery Sweet Cream ice cream.

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To Level 2 Seattle's Best

Level 2 Seattle's Best,

You were definitely more fresh and vibrant than your cousins.  There was something raw about your taste that both unsettled and inspired me.  Your aroma was soothing and brought back memories of yesteryear.  Even though our encounter was brief, I feel that I have understood the essence of you are.  Be brisk, my friend, and continue sharing your warmth with a dark-hearted world.

Go forth,


P.S.  Try pairing up with a creamsicle.

Friday, September 2, 2011

To Maxwell House

Maxwell House,

My dear, dear Max (I can call you Max, can't I?).  Communing with you was quite the challenge at first, but I gradually warmed up to your personality and flavor.  There was definitely nothing spectacular about you - medium roast, medium body, and medium taste - but I found myself being okay with such a regular coffee after only a short time.  Brewing you extra strength made me have a greater appreciation for your character.  Smooth, crisp, and cozy!  You tasted simply divine with a Klondike bar (which brought out your subtle cocoa tones).  Although I can't see myself falling deeply in love with you, I'm convinced that you're a nice, well-rounded individual.  Thanks for the good times, Max.

Keep it up,


P.S.  Try pairing up with an original Klondike bar.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

To Mocha Java Blend

Mocha Java Blend,

I was greeted with a pleasant licorice smell - not too strong, yet bold enough to make a statement.  You had too light of a body; there wasn't enough heaviness on my pallet.  You claimed to be exotic, but I found you overwhelmingly simple and mediocre.  Even though you had a balanced flavor, you were all over the place.  Your berry finish was somewhat enchanting.  I will definitely remember you - but not necessarily in a positive light.

So, so,


P.S. Try pairing up with stewed rhubarb sprinkled with sugar.

To Organic Cafe Cubano

Organic Cafe Cubano,

Very certain, very nice.  Your flavor exploded in every part of my mouth.  You were assertive and up-front about your personality, so I commend you on that!  At times, I tasted a chalky, abrasive flavor, but this was soon replaced by your overall refinement.  I have no doubt that you will go far in life with your full and courageous spirit.

No shame, no regrets


P.S.  Try pairing up with smoked salmon spread on saltine crackers.