To Mocha Java Blend

Mocha Java Blend,

I was greeted with a pleasant licorice smell - not too strong, yet bold enough to make a statement.  You had too light of a body; there wasn't enough heaviness on my pallet.  You claimed to be exotic, but I found you overwhelmingly simple and mediocre.  Even though you had a balanced flavor, you were all over the place.  Your berry finish was somewhat enchanting.  I will definitely remember you - but not necessarily in a positive light.

So, so,

Me

P.S. Try pairing up with stewed rhubarb sprinkled with sugar.

To Organic Cafe Cubano

Organic Cafe Cubano,

Very certain, very nice.  Your flavor exploded in every part of my mouth.  You were assertive and up-front about your personality, so I commend you on that!  At times, I tasted a chalky, abrasive flavor, but this was soon replaced by your overall refinement.  I have no doubt that you will go far in life with your full and courageous spirit.

No shame, no regrets

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with smoked salmon spread on saltine crackers.

To Tribute Blend

Tribute Blend,

You didn't have much aroma.  I had heard good things about you so I put aside your lack of smell and dove in head-first.  I was greeted with winey and berry flavors that lingered in my mouth.  You also had a distinct almond taste.  Overall, I was delighted with the complex, yet harmonious relationship between the four coffees that comprise your blend.  Your distinct personality was forceful yet sensitive to my pallet.  A great tribute to the Starbuck's roast.

Well done,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with shelled hemp seeds.

To Pacific Dark Roast

Pacific Dark Roast,

I definitely thought that you would be darker.  I do not intend to be mean, but I found you flaky and insecure.  There were some hints of a rich, intense flavor, but this was overshadowed by your incompatibilities in other areas.  Traces of yeast essence were evident, as well as herbal notes.  I was not terribly disappointed with your performance, rather I felt that you simply have some areas that need to be worked on.  Try bringing forth more of your flavor and heightening your overall body experience.  Live up to your name and break free of one-dimensionalism.

You can do it,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with New England clam chowder soup.

To: Caffe Verona

Caffe Verona

Ahhhh.  You both delighted and convicted me.  At first smell, I thought our relationship was doomed for destruction such as the star-crossed lovers found within your namesake.  I gradually took a liking to your distinct personality.  Your naturally sweet and creamy flavor was surprising; you had a calming affect on me that lasted well throughout the day.  I definitely have to be in the mood for you though - small doses are best.  I recommend you to anyone who enjoys a full-bodied coffee with depth and lots of love.

Yes, yes yes...

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with Lindt Lindor Milk Chocolate Truffle.

To 100% Colombian

100% Colombian,

First of all, your smell was not really strong enough; it was rather timid.  Secondly, your body lacked even though the mouth-feel was okay.  After the initial spray, your taste felt right - a delicious sweet hickory that is characteristic of most Colombian beans - but I'm left wanting.  I was expecting more acidity due to your Latin American roots, but didn't find any distinct juicy flavors.  In the end, when I added cream and sugar, your taste almost completely went away.  It seems as if you can't stand up on your own.

I'll take the high road,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with Monterey Jack Sun Chips.