Sunday, July 31, 2011

To Espresso Roast

Espresso Roast,

How truly amazing you are.  Thick.  Deep.  Real.  You contain a precious, rare flavor that made the moment sparkle, even if just for a few seconds.  My mouth felt laid back, relaxed, and a little sensual.  Who wouldn't love your caramel undertones and slightly burnt creaminess?  There was a faint whiff of spices, nuttiness, and other hedonistic pleasures that didn't disappoint the pallet.  I appreciate your smoothness and hearty density.  Bonus: you taste equally spectacular whether made in an espresso machine, French press, or regular drip coffee maker.

Viva la vida,


P.S.  Try pairing up with caramel wrapped marshmallows.  Scrumptious.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

To Vanilla


I must say that you were slightly different from some of the other flavored coffees that I've tried.  I expected a pungent, perfume-like brew, but your vanilla tones were subtle and thoughtful.  In fact, I was mesmerized by your silky texture and docile taste.  Although you didn't completely sell me on your overall character, our first experience together was indeed positive.  Improve on your body or roast, and then maybe we can talk.

Catch you on the flip side,


P.S. Try pairing up with a multi-grain bagel and plain cream cheese (low fat if you will).

To Tim Hortons

Tim Hortons,

A polite and somewhat flavorful (or should I say flavourful) coffee!  You were juicy and sympathetic to my needs, yet there seemed to be a critical aspect of your personality missing.  In fact, I couldn't stand spending much time with you alone.  In a group setting mixed with double cream and double sugar, your raggedness was atoned for.  You definitely taste better when brewed at home; when I tried you black in-store, you weren't all there.

Long live Canada,


P.S.  Try pairing up with a maple danish.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

To Hardy Passion

Hardy Passion,

You could easily become a summer lover.  Our meeting was so serendipitous, it must have been more than chance.  Your name brought forth memories of fervor, infatuation, and enduring obsession.  After taking a tentative sip, I was transported into a world of heartfelt simplicity characterized by soft affection.  There was absolutely no aggression.  I appreciated the way you let me get to know you without stipulations.  You have a slight acidity with smidgens of cocoa and floral flavors.  Although there was nothing distinct that set you apart, there was nothing that clearly desecrated your reputation.  All in all, a great experience; expect to hear from me again soon.


P.S.  Try pairing up with a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed.

Monday, July 18, 2011

To Breakfast Blend

Breakfast Blend,

Truthfully, I have never been a big fan of yours.  Too mild, too acidic, too light, and too weak.  In fact, in my ignorance and disgust, I turned away from you.  My mistake.  Recently, I had the privilege of trying you in a French press.  Oh my goodness!  Upon first taste, I couldn't tell it was you.  In fact, I guessed that it was one of your darker, richer peers.  I was wrong, but happy to be in err.  You were fuller and heavier than I remember; I guess that this can be attributed to your current maturity.  I could tell that you were trying your best to amaze me.   Your toned-down acidity and heavier mouth-feel left me appreciating your slight change of heart.

Here's to new things,


P.S.  Try pairing up with blackberry jam on toast.

To Jamaica Blue Mountain

Jamaica Blue Mountain,

Oh glorious splendor!  I have been anticipating your arrival for weeks and was so thrilled to finally be able to meet you.  So many people have been telling me wonderful things about your high-quality characteristics.  First of all, I was impressed with your luscious taste and tangy savor.  Next, when the juiciness faded away, it was appealing to encounter your complex hints of cocoa.  I enjoyed your complexity and the fact that you are very settled in your ways.  Obviously you are a coffee that has been perfected.  Although expensive, you are worth the wait and worth the time it took to find you.  Even though you're in high-demand, I hope that you will take the time to know me better.

Forever grateful,


P.S.  You really don't need to pair up with anything, but if you must, try a Godiva Orange Milk Chocolate Lollipop.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

To Organic Shade Grown Mexico

Organic Shade Grown Mexico,

You have such a fresh independence about you.  Even though you don't try to be different, you naturally come across as youthful and vivacious, yet wise beyond your years.  Others admire your compassion; I admire your carefree attitude that is grounded in strong mores.  I was very pleased to rekindle an old friendship with you today. You are definitely one of my favorites because your flavor, body, and roast reach a perfect harmony on my pallet. I was amazed at what a buoyant aftertaste that you have.  There's something beautifully transparent  that pulls me towards commitment.

I'll never be the same,


P.S.  Try pairing up with olive ciabatta and herb butter.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

To Vanilla Macadamia Nut

Vanilla Macadamia Nut,

You assaulted my senses with a tender, nutty smell.  Hints of vanilla brought back fond memories and left me feeling at ease.  I like the fact that I can taste your sweetness at the beginning, and then experience your depth at the end.  You have found a good balance between intricate flavor and subtle strength.  Although I could do without some of your dusty texture, I feel as if your pleasant lingering touch made up for the extra dry feeling.  I definitely couldn't take more than one cup a day, but you present me with a nice respite for more traditionally flavored coffees.

Hooray for you,


P.S. Try pairing up with pretzels dipped in Nutella.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

To Dunkin' Original Blend

Dunkin Original Blend,

You were so fake.  I was absolutely disgusted that you would even try to come across as genuine coffee.  Sure, you tried to comfort me and assure me, but I didn't feel safe.  In fact, because you tried so hard to be liked, I was more turned off by your flavor.  Even from the initial smell, I was disappointed.  Your taste has left me sad and discouraged.  Even your body was not what it should have been.

Good luck,


P.S.  Try pairing up with a stale donut (gag).

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

To Eight O'Clock Coffee 50% Decaf

Eight O'Clock Coffee 50% Decaf,

I cheated.  I didn't drink you at 8 o'clock.  Instead, I had you mid-afternoon with a light snack and a good book.   At first, I was taken aback by your intense moist mouth-feel and citrusity.  Needless to say, I was not prepared for our encounter.  It made my eyes water and my forehead perspire.  Disappointment ensued.  You tasted a little bit better with some food on the side, but I couldn't help but notice that your Tang flavor didn't do a thing for me.  At the end of the cup, I was surprised to find a pleasant aftertaste in my mouth.  Who would have thought?  Your satisfying finished made the whole experience rise to below average.

Not for me,


P.S.  Try pairing up with some Sensible Portions Veggie Chip Straws (and your favorite work of fiction).