Dunkin Original Blend,
You were so fake. I was absolutely disgusted that you would even try to come across as genuine coffee. Sure, you tried to comfort me and assure me, but I didn't feel safe. In fact, because you tried so hard to be liked, I was more turned off by your flavor. Even from the initial smell, I was disappointed. Your taste has left me sad and discouraged. Even your body was not what it should have been.
P.S. Try pairing up with a stale donut (gag).