To 100% Colombian

100% Colombian,

First of all, your smell was not really strong enough; it was rather timid.  Secondly, your body lacked even though the mouth-feel was okay.  After the initial spray, your taste felt right - a delicious sweet hickory that is characteristic of most Colombian beans - but I'm left wanting.  I was expecting more acidity due to your Latin American roots, but didn't find any distinct juicy flavors.  In the end, when I added cream and sugar, your taste almost completely went away.  It seems as if you can't stand up on your own.

I'll take the high road,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with Monterey Jack Sun Chips.

To Black and Tan

Black and Tan,

Ooh la la.  Such a brawny smell and rustic look!  Your flavor was fluffy and light, fit for a princess.  Even though you sparkled in my mouth, I found you rather timid.  Coffees like you need a little extra time in the roaster in order to come out seasoned and ready for action.  I appreciate your brightness, but wanted more depth.  Maybe if the Roastmaster included more French Roast (dark) and less Mexico Chiapas (light), you would have turned out better suited for my taste.  Even though you attracted me from afar, you failed to capture my heart.  Sorry.

Better luck next time,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with pancakes topped with extra syrup.