To Level 3 Seattle's Best

Level 3 Seattle's Best,

Way too simple for my liking.  I was able to pick up fruity and robust flavors, but you did not have near enough discretion.  You took my breath away in neutral manner.  Absolutely  nothing about you inspired me or lifted my spirits.  I appreciated your wine flavored aroma, but upon tasting you, I was left feeling astringent.  Despite your label, I did not find you balanced or smooth.  Perhaps when we meet again I shall have different thoughts about us.

Shucks,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with Coldstone Creamery Sweet Cream ice cream.


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To Mocha Java Blend

Mocha Java Blend,

I was greeted with a pleasant licorice smell - not too strong, yet bold enough to make a statement.  You had too light of a body; there wasn't enough heaviness on my pallet.  You claimed to be exotic, but I found you overwhelmingly simple and mediocre.  Even though you had a balanced flavor, you were all over the place.  Your berry finish was somewhat enchanting.  I will definitely remember you - but not necessarily in a positive light.

So, so,

Me

P.S. Try pairing up with stewed rhubarb sprinkled with sugar.

To Hardy Passion

Hardy Passion,

You could easily become a summer lover.  Our meeting was so serendipitous, it must have been more than chance.  Your name brought forth memories of fervor, infatuation, and enduring obsession.  After taking a tentative sip, I was transported into a world of heartfelt simplicity characterized by soft affection.  There was absolutely no aggression.  I appreciated the way you let me get to know you without stipulations.  You have a slight acidity with smidgens of cocoa and floral flavors.  Although there was nothing distinct that set you apart, there was nothing that clearly desecrated your reputation.  All in all, a great experience; expect to hear from me again soon.

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed.

To Level 4 Seattle's Best

Level Four Seattle's Best,

First of all, you tasted and acted very similar to your friend (Level 1 Seattle's Best). What the heck?  You were not dark enough to be a Level 4 and you had an extremely light body.  How confusing.  I wanted you to have a deeper and more mature taste, but you disappointed me. There was a seductive berry smell at the beginning, but it leaves me wanting more flavor.  I could call upon you when in trouble, but you should not advertise yourself as being bolder than you really are.  This leaves me questioning your intelligence.

It's not meant to be,

Me

P.S. Try pairing up with raspberry pie.