To Maxwell House

Maxwell House,

My dear, dear Max (I can call you Max, can't I?).  Communing with you was quite the challenge at first, but I gradually warmed up to your personality and flavor.  There was definitely nothing spectacular about you - medium roast, medium body, and medium taste - but I found myself being okay with such a regular coffee after only a short time.  Brewing you extra strength made me have a greater appreciation for your character.  Smooth, crisp, and cozy!  You tasted simply divine with a Klondike bar (which brought out your subtle cocoa tones).  Although I can't see myself falling deeply in love with you, I'm convinced that you're a nice, well-rounded individual.  Thanks for the good times, Max.

Keep it up,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with an original Klondike bar.

To: Caffe Verona

Caffe Verona

Ahhhh.  You both delighted and convicted me.  At first smell, I thought our relationship was doomed for destruction such as the star-crossed lovers found within your namesake.  I gradually took a liking to your distinct personality.  Your naturally sweet and creamy flavor was surprising; you had a calming affect on me that lasted well throughout the day.  I definitely have to be in the mood for you though - small doses are best.  I recommend you to anyone who enjoys a full-bodied coffee with depth and lots of love.

Yes, yes yes...

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with Lindt Lindor Milk Chocolate Truffle.

To Espresso Roast

Espresso Roast,

How truly amazing you are.  Thick.  Deep.  Real.  You contain a precious, rare flavor that made the moment sparkle, even if just for a few seconds.  My mouth felt laid back, relaxed, and a little sensual.  Who wouldn't love your caramel undertones and slightly burnt creaminess?  There was a faint whiff of spices, nuttiness, and other hedonistic pleasures that didn't disappoint the pallet.  I appreciate your smoothness and hearty density.  Bonus: you taste equally spectacular whether made in an espresso machine, French press, or regular drip coffee maker.

Viva la vida,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with caramel wrapped marshmallows.  Scrumptious.

To Vanilla Macadamia Nut

Vanilla Macadamia Nut,

You assaulted my senses with a tender, nutty smell.  Hints of vanilla brought back fond memories and left me feeling at ease.  I like the fact that I can taste your sweetness at the beginning, and then experience your depth at the end.  You have found a good balance between intricate flavor and subtle strength.  Although I could do without some of your dusty texture, I feel as if your pleasant lingering touch made up for the extra dry feeling.  I definitely couldn't take more than one cup a day, but you present me with a nice respite for more traditionally flavored coffees.

Hooray for you,

Me

P.S. Try pairing up with pretzels dipped in Nutella.

To Eight O'Clock Coffee 50% Decaf

Eight O'Clock Coffee 50% Decaf,

I cheated.  I didn't drink you at 8 o'clock.  Instead, I had you mid-afternoon with a light snack and a good book.   At first, I was taken aback by your intense moist mouth-feel and citrusity.  Needless to say, I was not prepared for our encounter.  It made my eyes water and my forehead perspire.  Disappointment ensued.  You tasted a little bit better with some food on the side, but I couldn't help but notice that your Tang flavor didn't do a thing for me.  At the end of the cup, I was surprised to find a pleasant aftertaste in my mouth.  Who would have thought?  Your satisfying finished made the whole experience rise to below average.

Not for me,

Me

P.S.  Try pairing up with some Sensible Portions Veggie Chip Straws (and your favorite work of fiction).

To Decaf Organic French Roast

Decaf Organic French Roast,

Nice and sexy.  I’m told that your smoky flavor comes from being slowly roasted to perfection.  Although you claim to have a good balanced taste, I felt as if you mislead me.  You cannot tell people that you are dark and bold unless you honestly can deliver.  Personally, I found you too acidic, with not enough fullness.  You had too many inhibitions, with no chance of improvement in my opinion.

Give it up,

Me

P.S. Try pairing up with roasted veggies.

To House Blend

House Blend,

So clean.  So bright.  So piquant.  You’re average, tidy, well-kept, and predictable.  Although there’s nothing special about you, I relish in your subtle tones.  Every time we meet, you are more flavorful than I remember.  It baffles me how you can get away with such a balanced, lovely nature without coming across as too boring. Early in the morning as the sun rises, I truly enjoy greeting the day with you in hand.  Though there’s nothing explosive about you, there’s nothing distasteful about you either.  If you’re not fresh, recently ground, and proportionately accurate, forget about it.  I have my limits.  Your reputation may not be the greatest, but I’m set on fixing that.

Stay Genuine,

Me

P.S. Try pairing up with blueberries fresh from the patch!

To Pike Place

Pike Place (NOT Pike's Place),

Our first encounter was pleasantly surprising.  I expected something much more tame, but you approached with enough authority and fascination.  There is something very natural and comforting about you.  I like the fact that we can hold hands and not talk for hours without it seeming awkward.  Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates this aspect of you.  Too much of a good thing has turned the masses away from your subtle, smooth notes and brisk flavor.  You've been stereotyped as boring and lame, yet this is far from your genuine nature.  I have to admit that I do tire of your personality because sometimes you feel good on the pallet but then nullify at the end.  This isn't to say that I can never commune with you again.  I just need to take my time, make my rounds, and find you when I need you.  

Let's stay friends,

Me

P.S. Try pairing up with a Chocolove XOXO Toffee & Almonds milk chocolate bar.